Breakin'

Not in the cool way like Turbo and Ozone (80s' movie reference in case you're not hip to it). Breakin' like the spring kind, which for this almost-grad-school-drop-out is quite exciting. Is it possible this is my last spring break ever? Weird. At 31 however, I'm at least happy to say that I'm still having one.

Spent the weekend in Hotlanta with Josh and Sara Fan, and the two cutest boys to have ever existed. It never gets old to hear "Auntie Becca! Auntie Becca!" even after a thousand times. As an only child and childless adult, it makes me feel special and loved and excited everytime--I get to be an aunt! And Max is absolutely my favorite five year old ever. A full weekend of knock-knock jokes, dinosaurs, sword fights, cartoons, xylophones and the Zoo was finely coupled with red wine, the best latkes ever (sorry Jews, the Chinese master chef has you beat), and laughs with old friends. What's not to love? Plus, I've gotta give an honorable mention to the newest member of the clan: Baby Aidan, who, though he mostly sleeps and eats and poos, is sweeter than love itself. On Saturday after the zoo, Sara and I went out for a couple of beers (literally--how times have changed!), where we got hit on by a some guys at a bachelor party, suggesting that these old gals still got it goin' on. (But of course we knew that.)

So it's been a good break. And yet, slightly odd. Usually spring break provokes the desire to drink beer, get crazy, and act a fool, but not-so-much this year. The last few months have calmed my soul and I'm enjoying this clarity of mind and lightness of spirit. I have no desire to mask that feeling with booze and smoke-filled bars. I'm finding far more pleasure in relaxation, breathing, music, the sun, and the joy of each day, and rather than giving in to habit I'm staying on the sidelines of this earthly life and watching from afar. I feel connected to something larger than myself, larger than this overly social world--and whatever I've connected with, I don't want to give it up. It's as if my soul has opened up and I'm floating towards the sky hanging onto a large red balloon....just smiling and waving as I go. Tomorrow I can't wait to wake up early and go to yoga, after which I'm getting a massage and heading to the beach. Heaven. For the rest of the week I'll spend some time with my amazing mom, see a friend or two, bike, run, and enjoy this incredible world. I'll listen to the waves crash for hours and never tire of it. So much beauty in each moment. These days, it seems there's nothing better than just being.

I don't really know where all of this has come from, but moments of joy and peace hit you the most when you least expect it. Completely single, I feel more surrounded by and full of love than I ever have. With many of my friends far away or living in other cities, I feel more connected to many of them than ever before. Without partying and going out, I feel happier, sillier, freer, and more excited about living than in any days prior. On the plane ride to Atlanta, I meditated for two hours which reminded me again that peace is not only realized in designated sacred spaces--it's always with us no matter what. I am welcoming this world in new ways--and though I can't wait to find out what future days will bring, I'm not concerned with it much at all. This present moment is far too precious and perfect.