Spring break paper ass

As you can tell by my picture, I'm having rough day. Really though: papers hurt. And procrastination is tough on my ass! Literally. Any hot little “pop” or bubble my ass once had has been flattened out since beginning grad school (hence the pic, 'cause you don't wanna see the other side). Fucking papers, man. Hours and hours at the computer, writing, reading, procrastinating—it’s all a part of the process. And apparently, so is the dwindling ass pop. Nothing left, I tell ya. Not to mention the shoulder strain, cramped right hand (for which they have officially termed a “disease”: carpal tunnel syndrome) and lower back pain. Oh, and my head feels like it’s about to fall off my body because my neck is so tired of supporting it. So for those of you who claim that my yoga practice looks daunting, or for those of you who say that you hate working out because it hurts, I say, good luck with your desk jobs. Give me a huffing and puffing, death defying, steep uphill run or climb any day. Fold me up into a fuckin’ pretzel for a thousand breaths. These papers are killers.

I suppose I should mention that the paper I’m writing is for my Quantitative Research Methods class (translation: some sociological statistical shit that I’m supposed to understand but am faking my way through with smiling head nods, inquisitive expressions, and immense help from fellow classmates), so of course that’s going to make my ass pain seem more uncomfortable than it probably is. Especially when you add up all the hours of procrastination. In the last few hours what’s really happened is that the paper writing has become a process of researching articles, notetaking, idea supposing, Wikapedia-ing, and Facebooking. Oh, and I did download some good stuff on iTunes.

So while I take total responsibility for the portion of ass pain that has to do with iTunes and Facebook, it probably also has something to do with the fact that it’s my last day of spring break. Since I’ve gotten no work done this week I’m essentially glued to the chair today. And though I’m sitting on the porch of my moms’ house, it’s as if the weather woke up today and decided to remind me that tomorrow I’m heading back up north. All week in Florida, and I’ve been biking, beaching, tanning, yogaing...all in the beautiful sunshine. A week of blissful existence, utterly perfect. And then today, BOOM! It’s cloudy and chilly. Get ready for cold, you northern-grad-school-Quant-paper girl. You’re on your muthafuckinwayhome.

Ha. What a fucker I am. As if life is bad or something, right? Stuck comfortably in limbo between jobs, careers, wants, and dreams, I get to sit tight in grad school while I wait for my next adventure. I don’t pay tuition, I make a living wage for the easiest TA appointment ever, and have full health benefits. Oh right, and I’m on spring break at my moms’ house in Florida. And they live at the beach. And my summer travels? Where you ask? India. Yeah, I’m meeting my best friend in India to study yoga for about three months. Then, when I get back, the world is open to me. I can teach yoga. I can get a job at an activist organization, non-profit foundation, or just travel around and work part time for a while. If I don’t immediately have a place to live, I can stay with friends or family because I have plenty of both. I can bartend, make coffee, work construction, nanny, travel, play, and be free. So I guess the Quant paper I’m supposed to be working on isn’t really something to sweat. It’s not like life is bad. It’s just that my ass hurts.