Yoga Shutdown (But have no fear, we're back open!)

Call me crazy, but the upside to a government shutdown is an unprecedented opportunity to practice some seriously intense yoga.

WHAT?!?!? Yes.

And no, I don’t mean immediately heading to your next local hot and sweaty vinyasa class, or signing up for a blissed-out  yoga workshop. I’m not suggesting a vipassana retreat or a master cleanse.

When I say there's an opportunity to practice some intense yoga, I’m talking some intense, for real, self-reflective, off the mat yoga. That’s right. Yep, that kind.   

It’s hard. So hard in fact, that I almost didn’t start writing this post. It feels next to impossible to practice contentment, self-reflectivity and nonattachment while being currently full of anger, expletives and negativity. 

... 

And then it hit me: what I'm full of. I can‘t create positive change with negative energy.

But I'm entitled to it! Government shutdown are you kidding me? I want to rant. I want to blame. I want to tell this one and that one how unfair this is to those whose jobs and livelihoods are being affected. I want vilify them and make them pay. I want them to realize. To say their wrong. To change. I want. I want. I think.

The government shut down has filled me with an intense sense of my own righteousness. My own entitlement. Attachments, judgments, moral ideologies. In short: I AM RIGHT YOU ARE WRONG.

Surely it doesn’t take a genius to realize that this line of thinking is exactly how we got into this mess.

Self-reflection is a bitch.

But how to change? I mean, they are wrong (right!?). What am I supposed to do? Find compassion for John Boehner?!?!?!? Honey, please. I'm a yogi but I ain' Buddha. I can’t. I mustn’t. I won’t.

And suddenly I get it. Government Shutdown? Yoga Shutdown.

Time to practice.

In yoga, many of us work to practice a set of moral observances outlined in the Yoga Sutras known as the yamas and niyamas. These observances ask us to practice yoga in a morally sound way as to promote things like: compassion, honesty, contentment, self-reflection and peaceful interactions with others (and more). Typically, the yamas are thought of as interactional practices whereas niyamas are considered to be individually directed/self-practices. Of course, the yamas and niyamas are interconnected and equally important.

Most days, integrating the yamas and niyamas into my thought habits and interactions is not extremely difficult for me. That’s not to say it’s not a challenge—or more specifically, a conscious practice—but it’s a practice I’ve been engaged with for many years, and in most circumstances has become somewhat second nature. For example, practicing these yamas: aparigraha (non-greed/non-attachment), ahimsa (non-violence/compassion) and satya (truth/honesty), have become far more than moral observances for me, they are a part of my way of life. Same goes for the niyamas such as santosha (contentment), swadhyaya (self-study/reflectivity) and tapas (discipline/directing energy).   

Yesterday, when the government shutdown began, I didn’t realize it would lead me to confront the intense challenges associated with this very specific and demanding yoga practice. Compassion. Non violence. Contentment. Self-study. And so on….

So the question becomes… Can I do it? Can I practice these now? 

I abashedly admit that this morning, while standing in my kitchen, I was trying to think up an appropriate Facebook status about this government shutdown ordeal. I wanted to show my discontent, my outrage—while demonstrating that my belief that we can navigate our way through this. I witnessed my thought patterns torn between reconciling the outraged activist, the compassionate yogi, the emotional sadness for those out of work today. In my very own human way, I couldn’t figure out how to get this "status update political commentary" into 120 characters while living up to everything I am and everything I want to be: smart, wise, yogic, positive, politically astute, intuitive, feminist, lovable, etc.

Phew. That’s a lot to hold. Especially when all you're trying to do is think up a Facebook post. (I've subsequently come up with, "Now I understand why Obama still smokes.")

Anyhoo... 

This whole ordeal has it inspired a really important inner dialogue for me. Who am I? What do I live for? What do I stand for and promote? And right now--how do I reconcile my yoga (i.e., “me”) with the rest of me (i.e. “the same me”). How do I demonstrate disappointment, sadness and anger —while still feeling drawn to a desire to make more room in the world for compassion? I mean.... compassion for the Tea Party? After all this? (I'm the daughter of Jewish lesbians and currently in a very queer marriage for God's sake.) How is compassion here possible?  

And then it hit me. This is my practice today.  

And what have I learned? That I have no answers today. That my practice is not—ever—over. Today, I have no reconciliation. And instead I have to sit with it. Contentment. Nonattachment. Truth. 

Accept.

My practice matters more than they do, and my practice is political. My compassion is revolutionary. It is so much larger than me… and my negativity will not foster positive change. In order to believe that the House and Senate can come to a resolution—I must come to my own. I want them to accept one another, so I must do the same. I have to be the change I want to see in the world.

In my kitchen today, I did at least remember to tell myself that compassion is not the same as understanding. I don’t have to understand them. I don’t have to agree. I don’t have to let go of what I think is right in order to not be attached to it. I don’t have to proceed with anger or rage to feel energized, determined and passionate. 

What if we all proceeded in a way that fostered our ability to witness our own feelings and experiences while making room for acceptance of those who differ? Again I say that thinking along the lines of “I am right, you are wrong,” is exactly how we got here.

What is your most difficult and intense yoga practice? Today, this is mine.

And if you don’t do yoga at all, but have a strong opinion on how the government shutdown should proceed—can you harness that energy in a way that helps us move forward? Can you use positive language? Can you watch your thoughts and opt out of the right/wrong mentality? If not—can you truly expect them to?

Be the change. Be intentional. Be the good. 

(And as a quick aside, several hours after I wrote this today, I went to a yoga class where I was prompted to set an intention or offer my practice to someone else. A huge smile crept across my face. John Boehner? This one's for you.)