Cleanse this!

As a yoga instructor and practitioner for many years, I'm increasingly uneasy about the association of yoga with weight loss, dieting, and detox/cleanses. After reading this post today: http://www.curvyyoga.com/curvy/why-happiness-%E2%89%A0-weight-loss/, I was immediately struck by how infrequently I hear sentiments of a similar kind. In the post, Anna (author) suggests that weight loss is not a direct route to happiness; fat, weight gain, and a round, curvy body is not indicative of poor health and dietary habits. If you're in agreement so far, do a quick experiment the next time you go out to eat. If you notice someone you may describe as “fat” or “obese" eating, say, a cheeseburger with the works, pay attention to what goes through your mind. Be free to think whatever comes up. Next, find someone you consider to be thin or attractive--even better if they're munching on potato skins or nachos--and see what thoughts arise there. Do you assume one person to be healthier than the other? Could you suggest what they 'should' be eating and why? What do you presume to know about their health or lifestyle, and who do you believe to be happier in general?

So what does this have to do with yoga?

My most recent gripe with a number of yogis is that they’ve gotten too big for their tiny little spandex britches. 100 degree yoga. Sweaty yoga. Power yoga. I-don't-even-feel-like-I-did-yoga-if-I-only-did-Gentle-yoga yoga. Add to this yogis conversing before and after classes ad nauseum about their latest raw diet, detox, or fast, or the thousands of products helping yogis get "cleaner" and more "pure" through eliminating processed foods, sugar, salt, gluten, and living solely on "organic" and "whole" foods.... Suddenly these days, my yoga studios feel more like a place to hang out with Jenny Craig and Jane Fonda while trying to get the attention of Jack LaLanne--all with a little Robert Atkins sprinkled on top.

Now don’t get me wrong, I realize that significant health benefits are often associated with non-processed food and whole food diets. Some people have transformed their health by being mindful about what foods they will or will not use to feed their body. That said, the cultural obsession with thinness coupled with the commodification of yoga is walking a very fine--and in my humble opinion--too-close-for-comfort line. When you visualize a yogi, what do you see? A round, curvy person meditating?--Or the woman on the cover of Yoga Journal? Can you really be a yogi if you eat fried food? And if you can--are you allowed to enjoy it? Think back to the "overweight" individual eating the cheeseburger and the thinner individual eating nachos. Now envision them both doing yoga. Now watch them eating a fresh salad or broccoli. What is your assumption of them now? Which will be able to do "more" postures? Is one of them trying to lose weight, and the other a health conscious individual? Which is which? Can you be sure?

The truth is, yogis need to be really careful if they state they support lifestyle choices that offer support, compassion, health, and healing. And not just in your classes, but when you're conversing in the studio waiting area and when you're out with friends or family. Many of us harbor difficult and/or traumatic histories with food intake, eating disorders, and obsessive dieting. It's important to remember that there are certain days when, choosing between the side of broccoli or the side of fries has less to do with how your body is going to respond, and more to do with our state of mind. For some of people, "allowing" ourselves to have the fries can be freeing. For many of us, there have been times when the broccoli choice was not made out of concern for our health, but because we were restricting food choices based on destructive eating habits and irrational needs to control or lose weight. For some of us, the broccoli had very little to do with health, and everything to do with self-hatred.

"Health" is a concept that is multifaceted, subjective, contextual, and ever-changing. "Health" does not equate to thinness. "Clean living" and "clean eating" do not always succeed in helping to cleanse those toxins we're always going on and on about. The toxins--more often than not--do not exist in our bellies and digestive organs, but exist in our minds. A detox or restrictive diet is not going to help detoxify our unhealthy body image, and will certainly not help end obsessive dieting. In fact, the opposite is true--such behaviors have the potential to magnify those behaviors under the guise of "health" and "purity". In yoga, notions of health, cleanliness, and purity once associated with specific historical texts/practices are now commonly taken out of context and molded into a consumer-based, market driven, and often misogynist packaging that suggests the goal of yoga is to "purify" our bodies. But why? What does the purified individual look like? Does she have dimples on her thighs, and a "muffin top" pooch over her jeans? Though yoga marketing suggests that the mind and spirit are involved in the process of asana (movement/postures), it's clear that popular present day yoga--especially power yoga, hot yoga and Bikram yoga--is not always practiced for other reasons than to be trendy, get fit, and to finally have a fitness instructor that will offer you some sweet, kind words while you're busy beating yourself to a pulp.

As a yogi, and as someone who has struggled for many years with eating disorders and body image, I am disheartened by what is happening to yoga as it becomes more mainstream. It wasn't all that long ago I was able to practice yoga in old shorts and a t-shirt, but now Lululemon won't leave me alone. The truth is, my yoga has little to do with my pants size, tank-top brand, or ideal weight--though meditation and being present has helped me to listen to my body in order to give it what it needs. After many years of learning to pay attention, it turns out that my body does not want to be as small as my mind once wanted it to be. To many of you, I may look as if I've gained a few pounds over the last year or two. It's because I have. But it's not because I suddenly don't care--it's because I'm no longer starving. I no longer view my body as impure, something to be cleansed, detoxed, and restricted. Ironically, people I've not seen in a long time don't say "you look great!" as often as they once used to, and I know why. When I was starving myself, you said it all the time. But it's OK. I finally understand--but only because I stopped to listen. To me. As it turns out, this is me healthy. This is me strong. This is me living my yoga. My body, mind and spirit, are finally feeling free in ways I'd never dreamed.

It's true that many people come to yoga to change something. Sometimes, it's to gain physical strength or flexibility, and sometimes it's because they'd be healthier if they lost weight. But as it turns out--it may sometimes be just as healthy for some of us to gain a couple of pounds. One of the beautiful things about yoga is that classes offer many of us a chance to move our bodies and explore our minds in an environment that is unassuming and nonjudgmental. It is my hope that that's what most of us find. But for you teachers out there--and practitioners alike!--be careful of how you share your yoga. We may already know that the beauty of the practice comes not from smaller waistlines or stretchy hamstrings. But every so often, check in with yourself about what you understand to be "healthy" eating habits, and how you think about weight, toxins, and specific diets. The reality is, "cleansing" may have very little to do with what you eat, but instead, have everything to do with why you eat it. Just as, the gift of doing a handstand has little to do with the handstand, and everything to do with how you understand yourself, who you expect and allow yourself to be--and in many cases, whether you're prepared to let yourself fall down. The practice of yoga is an exploration of breath, body, heart, and soul. It's the chance to take inventory of our minds, to exist in our bodies without trying to alter them and shift them into something other than what we are. Yoga is the opportunity to find out why we want what we want, to find out what matters and what we can live without. Its the chance to be quiet with ourselves, to offer ourselves compassion and love. The real yoga is not just asana--it's just simply being. Yoga is the experience of accepting our intricate, delicate, vulnerable—and incredibly vast—humanness.

Asana, weight loss and restrictive caloric food intake will not deliver us to "happiness". On the contrary, such behavior can lead to devastatingly unhealthy habits, self-hatred, guilt, shame, and fear. Instead, opportunities for change occur through understanding. Listening. Watching. Presence. Presence, over time leads us closer to knowing the infinite peace that resides within each of us; with a dedicated practice, fleeting moments of acceptance and/or inner peace lead to better days. Better days turn into healthier daily habits, and with time, these ultimately shift our emotional/spiritual histories. With new histories full of present moments, we begin to find personal and worldly change through compassion, acceptance, and gratitude. In comparison, thinness, weight-loss, carb-free diets seem minuscule and humorous—they can never hold the same potential for our lives that presence and peace will provide.